still breathing

I’ve banned myself from  listening to the song Breathe Me by Sia. I’ve done this primarily the song is one of my triggers. The piano at the beginning. The strong tie to the Six Feet Under finale.  That version of the song always has tears running down my face. The official video, hard to find since several live versions by Sia are out there, is below. A few years back, I would listen to this song over and over and over. It was beyond obsession.  It wasn’t helping me get better at all.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xd92n_sia-breathe-me-music-video_news

Enter in Sia’s new album, This is Acting. A rich variety of songs which have earned her trademark stamp. For this album, all her songs are performed with a black/white wig with her eyes covered, either with a short veil or long bangs. This was done to create mystery, she noted on Carpool Karaoke with James Cordan.

Sia’s videos are a riveting marriage of song and dance, creating an expressive experience. I find these videos fascinating.  Many might know her song Chandelier about a party girl out of control or Elastic Heart about love and loss, of which there are several videos out there including one with Shia LaBeouf. What has garnered my attention is the song Alive.

I found solace in the strangest place
Way in the back of my mind
I saw my life in a stranger’s face
And it was mine

The song, noted below also with breathing in the chorus just like Breathe Me, is about fighting to live and learning to survive instead of a seriously sad and dependent stance. This is not on my ‘banned’ list.

I had made every single mistake
That you could ever possibly make
I took and I took and I took what you gave
But you never noticed that I was in pain
I knew what I wanted, I went in and got it
Did all the things that you said that I wouldn’t
I told you that I would never be forgotten
And all in spite of you

So I added some music from Sia back into my playlists.  After intense years of scratching to survive, I breathe a little differently these days.

I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing
I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing
I’m alive
I’m alive
I’m alive
I’m alive

What’s on your playlist?

zooey

 

Sia at Coachella