the art of mindbending

the life of zooey who happens to be Bipolar 2

this is not a stylin’ walk

euon.manh_prune1This weekend, we had amazing weather. Sunny, not to cold or hot. A bit of a breeze. It lured Stan and I outside. He pushed the mower around the yard. I cleared the larger weed brush and attempted to prune the most unruly Manhattan Globe Euonymus.  A cheap and fast-growing bush, it has taken over one corner of the house, even pushing through gaps in the deck, warping the wood out of place.

This is what I get for ignoring the yard. A blob bush hell-bent on growing through everything. Hello trumpet vine of the shrubs!

euon.manh_prune1After clearing a side bed and back bed of last years dried-up weeds and bagging them, I began at least trimming down the side of the euonymous which had infiltrated the deck on two levels. I gave up bagging, allotting it to Lucy when she returned the next day. I spent most the afternoon hacking away doggedly at the beast. I was rather pissed at the bush and myself for creating this situation of unruliness.

The next day, whilst reaching over to put glasses of water on the table at breakfast, I felt a tug and dip in my lower back. Nice, now I will be nursing my thrown out back!

110021-425x282-Woman_cutting_rosesLucy, armed with refuse bags later that day, cleared the area.

At dinner that night, I came up with a brilliant idea! Let’s put down black out sheet and mulch to get two areas under control in the backyard!  I wanted to put a small herb garden in one area and a few dwarf bushes in the other. Basically, I am lazy. I didn’t want to totally clear it of weeds and this was my answer. Lazy gardening 101. Under cover of mulch and plastic, weeds will die a dark and silent death. I am the Darth Vader of my back yard. I will choke out the light. They will strangle and die.

mulchingIn the middle of this effort, we realized that there wasn’t enough plastic or mulch. Yay for measuring! (Not)  While Stan made a second trip to Home Depot, Lucy and I moved stones around and stacked them back up. Well, Lucy did most of that work, to be sure, with my back yanked out. I carried one measly stone to her at a time. Small stones. Very small stones.

By the time we were done right at dark in the sprinkling rain, we’d logged a total of 3.5 hours of work for 3 people.  We did THREE areas covered in plastic and mulched. Because even if 2 out of 3 isn’t bad, 3 of 3 is better, regardless of our screaming bodies. Damn my innocent trickery!

5s5ENmjToday, my walk is slow and stately. It is not a stylish walk with a jaunty bounce. This walk accommodates a calf muscle I forgot I had and back whimpering as I shuffle along.

Often gardening is thought of as people sedately tending and trimming beautiful roses or picking luscious tomatoes. Rarely do you see photos of slogging work and the next day’s efforts to get out of bed and move around. Gardening is not for the weak at heart. It’s snow shoveling in the summer.

Beware all ye who pull weeds and trim bushes. This is serious, dirty business.







3 comments on “this is not a stylin’ walk

  1. Rory
    April 18, 2016

    Our new place has weeds. It’s weird! Our last home had bulbs EVERYWHERE, so irises and daffodils kept the few weeds choked off really well. I’ll have to do some maintenance at this place, but it shouldn’t be too bad. It was well maintained before we got here.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. zooey
    April 18, 2016

    The back part is going in as day lillies. It will take a long time to fill up that space around the trees. Plant it and mostly forget it…not worked well in the past, but I can’t stop doing it.


    • Rory
      April 18, 2016

      Well, if you can get them well established, they could likely hold their own after a season or two. After that, you won’t even need to weed them very often, as they will fill in and occupy the available resources.

      Liked by 1 person

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