the life of zooey who happens to be Bipolar 2
It’s Monday. The day most people would rather skip, sleep through or have go incredibly fast like Hermione’s time turner necklace. Can we just say going to MORE classes with that thing seems a bit much? Hey! Let’s relive a day! Not. AND perhaps that said time turner would have really helped in the last book. Just sayin’.
I don’t remember my first alarm. I sort of remember my second alarm and I don’t remember turning on the bedside lamp either. It was a slow morning getting my ass out of bed and to work was like trying to run through water.
I couldn’t skip the shower, although I really thought about it. I hadn’t bathed since Friday morning. Yeah, that sounds bad. One day is no biggie, especially with errands to run and chores around the house. Sunday was pajama day. I declared I wouldn’t leave the house that day, which was probably a dumb thing to do in my state of limbo (see last week’s posts). So I scraped off the layer of dead skin and wash my hair. People at work will certainly appreciate the effort.
Today, though I am full of dread. I have no reason why. I just do. Maybe it is all the shit that went on last week now coming back to the forefront of the day. Chats in the break room with people trying to figure out what and why it happened on Friday noted in the blog Spoons. Perhaps it was looking at all the voicemails I saved of my parents as I checked a missed call didn’t help either. Probably that and depression.
I am the Dread Pirate Roberts today without the benefit of riches
Well, Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. ‘I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts’, he said. ‘My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Dread Pirate Roberts either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Roberts has been retired fifteen years and living like a king in Patagonia.’
Why couldn’t I be Princess Buttercup? Sure, she had her trials, yet they seem less in the anxiety space than Pirate Dread. Buttercups symbolically represent something positive. “The essence carries a blessing of sweetness, restoring the inner child aspect of one’s inner world. It brings joy, calm, acceptance, and genuine sweetness into body, mind, and spirit.”
Monday sword fighting is an appropriate choice to describe today. I have dread and a slightly acidic stomach from the coffee I’ve been chugging. Too bad I can’t put on a doo rag and mask and remain anonymous.
TOO many Princess Bride references…I can’t help myself….
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut
Time to stop this blog sword fight? When the sunset turns to night.
As you wish,