the art of mindbending

the life of zooey who happens to be Bipolar 2

between a jingle bell and a hard place

snowSongs, shiny decorations, presents galore this time of year. Regardless of religious affiliation…or if you celebrate Festivus, the holidays are upon us…since before the beginning of grazing season (Thanksgiving).  Cookies and candies are made especially for this time. Office, friend and family gatherings are planned. It’s like the last chance saloon for getting in touch with people that probably should have more of a place in your life all year.  No matter.

A-Christmas-Carol-001I am not Scrooge. I wish no one ill. I participate. I buy and plan and make. But I could give a shit. I used to love this time of year, which is sad. I use to be active in a church. I’ve helped start one for goodness sake. But I’ve strayed away from ‘the flock’ and I could easily go right through December with nary a shopping trip or decoration adorning our house and lawn.

My Christmas spirit is gone.

Stress from work stuff? Maybe. Depression? Maybe. Whatever it is, I can’t stand to listen to Christmas music. I’ve only watched one movie, Elf, which traditionally begins our holiday season. The rest of the Christmas movies sit…untouched.

snowstormFacebook is teeming with people decorating trees and doing holiday activities. The are happy and excited for the season. Whoop-de-doosie. 
I understand people who have lost loved ones and this time of year. That is hard fucking times. But this sort of ambivalence has escaped me until now. I cannot pull up my holiday bootstraps this year. My apologies for this whiny post. Stick it in the corner with the old Halloween decorations. It will pass in less than a month.

Maybe if it snows something magical will happen. I do love a good snowstorm.

jingle bAlls,



3 comments on “between a jingle bell and a hard place

  1. Rory
    December 7, 2015

    It has taken me years to swing in the direction of enjoying Christmas. It may last, it may not. No judgement here. It’s okay to be ambivalent. It’s best to feel the emotions you are feeling, or not feel emotions if you aren’t feeling them. That’s all okay. You are still awesome. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jillandernest
    December 7, 2015

    I agree. I think I used up all my holiday energy on Thanksgiving. Now I’m just going to coast until . . . whenever. I’d rather just enjoy my life throughout the year and not care about Christmas. You wanna do a bah humbug Cards night soon? Brad got new packs. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. zooey
    December 7, 2015

    Aye. I am trying to just leave it be what it is and not fret too much. Hugs, Rory. And jillandernest, let’s do some cards…maybe this weekend?


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This entry was posted on December 7, 2015 by in Uncategorized.
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