the art of mindbending

the life of zooey who happens to be Bipolar 2


SymbolicCaterpillarMeaning2If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies. ~Author Unknown

This time of year, many fat and fuzzy or beautiful green caterpillars of various shapes and sizes hunker down in cocoons and chrysalis. If the caterpillars survive the harsh cold of winter, they transform into something beautiful in the spring. After munching on leaves and avoiding hungry birds, it’s the next move to maturity.

Apparently I get to as well.

For most of my career, I’ve been an individual contributor. This means that I become an expert in an area and contribute through writing requirements, sponsoring projects, testing and the like to further along corporate goals. I’ve been eating the money from the company trees. I’ve avoided the hungry birds of layoffs over and over. I’ve done this by showing my value through productivity and knowledge in areas where most people shudder to understand — complicated rules and processes.

chrysalysAnd now I’ve been asked to transform. Quickly. No time for cocoons of comfort, swivel chairing from reporting to a boss to being that actual boss, at least in the interim, but most likely permanently. It’s an honor and fucking shock to be put in this position in less than a few business days. I was asked, of course, but then wheels turned and here we are, on the cusp of change this week.

I am scared, exhilarated and actually happy to give this adventure a whirl. After a quick call in the evening, it official began. My mind has been flooded with stuff I need to learn and do soon. I would manage the team I used to work on now as soon as announcements go out today or tomorrow. I had three people from the group IM me this AM. They were all notified of the change last night as well. It has begun.

Spring floral butterflyIt’s hard to keep in check health needs with a new schedule and set of constant needs, responsibilities and considerations for others. My new boss up the food chain said, “It’s 30% about your people, 30% understanding where the team and area is now and is going, 30% relationship building with other managers and 10% personal growth. I started with a recommended book for that 10% this weekend called, Bankable Leadership. It’s helped me feel better about my new role.

But sleep. Sleep is a must for my health. Without it, depression nips at my coattails. My hope is that I can balance this need with that of my new position…and fly on.

Flutterby, butterfly,




3 comments on “chrysalis

  1. Rory
    November 17, 2015

    Woo! Congrats. I believe in you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jillandernest
    November 17, 2015

    Grats! Well deserved and maybe a little overdue! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. zooey
    November 17, 2015



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This entry was posted on November 17, 2015 by in anticipation, depression, hope, life challenges, perspective, Self Esteem, Sleep, Uncategorized, work and tagged , , .
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