the life of zooey who happens to be Bipolar 2
Swan: I bet you can’t even remember who you get on Friday and Saturday night… you probably don’t remember what they look like…
Mercy: Sometimes I can and sometimes I can’t… who gives a damn?
Last night, after a really heinous build early in the evening, the last code delivery was 12 midnight – 2 after a 14 hour day.
Vermin: How much longer we gotta wait? We might be here forever, I’m sick of waiting for trains! (code)
Swan: Vermin, sit down and shut up.
Vermin: Okay, okay! *
Vermin: [getting off the train at Union Square] Where is everybody?
Rembrandt: Looks like we’re the first ones here. We’re gonna hafta sit and wait… They’ll show up. *
Finally the build came and we could finish one day and start on the next check the build. I sat there, automatically reviewing functions in my bra and jeans. It was hot in the house and hot + tired = sleepy. I could not afford sleepy. I had to be ‘up’ for this and getting the shit done. Yet, I was slumped down in front of my computer, looking at my belly, which is way too big. I felt like a man drinking beer in a ‘wife beater’ T-shirt. Not the best analogy, but after warring through the day, it was what it was.
Swan: Just go back to where ever it was you came from.*
My mind wandered, as it tends to do in a heightened state of exhaustion. I had a flashback to my grandparent’s house. My grandpa used to mow in only his work pants. No shirt, skin pinking in the sun, he pushed that mower back and forth in the front yard. I was 5 at the time and went out to mow with him in only pants and shoes just like him. I felt pretty good. Just me and gramps mowing the lawn. Later at dinner, I was informed this would not be happening again. That girls had to have shirts on. I was angry that I couldn’t go shirtless.
Cowboy: You never know what you’re gonna run into out there. If we’re wearing our colors, we can’t hide.
Vermin: Who wants to hide?*
Fuck yeah, on a conference call (no video, thankfully) in a bra and pants. Bring it, developers. And we all mowed that shit down.
Cyrus: “That my brothers, is a miracle. And miracles, is the way things ought to be.”*
Breaking old school rules in the dark of night,
*From Warriors, the movie, 1979