the art of mindbending

the life of zooey who happens to be Bipolar 2

specks and weeds

I had a dream last night which carried over into waking hours.

I take it with a pinch of salt. Dreams are mostly random bits of what is going in someone’s lives. During sleep, stuff collides…what is top of mind (worries, etc.), what was eaten and perhaps something that happened that day. Whether you believe in the symbolism, I say random is a random dump so the brain can rest along with the body. Yes, sometimes dreams can be redirected, that we have some control, but often they are not. So I ride along the light fantastic until morning.

The thing about the med ‘cocktail’ for any person with bipolar 2 is varies from person to person. Body chemistry, drug chemistry and environment create inevitable side effects. I take a low eyeing up 10dosage of Trazodone at night to help me get drowsy enough to sleep. Even at very low levels, I often get a dream or two that are quite interesting.

Last night, my dream was something in my eye. It was a small speck in the lower left lid. As I watched it in the bathroom mirror (with some sort of audience), it grew, little-by-little. I wanted it out, but was not alarmed. Various methods were employed to remove the offending speck. Tweezers, fingers, tissues, eye drops tried to no avail.

I am pointing a partial finger to fucking ragweed for this dream. It is the bane of my existence in the ragweed4Fall, filling my life with steroid and emergency inhalers, rarely leaving the house and serious headaches.  If I could leap from August to the first freeze, it would awesomeness. Where are Dr. Who and the Tardis when I need them??

When I woke up to the beeping alarm, I rolled out of bed and logged into my computer, still in my jammies. No coffee, just get on the computer and get cracking, sister! I looked at my screen and couldn’t see anything but a bright rectangle. Even blinking a bunch, cleaning my glasses and rubbing my eyes didn’t clear the blur. It took a good long while before I was able to see clearly.

Premonition dream? Hard to say. I hope my premonitions aren’t as unimportant as hazy wake-up call eye gunk. Ragweed, you suck ass.

On a clear day you can see forever,


P.S. In reference to the song from the movie…the song.


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