the life of zooey who happens to be Bipolar 2
That song which will NOT leave the brain. Phrases, sometimes with words, or some made up. It sticks around for days, stubbornly filtering in and out of conscious thought. I’ve had some doozies. A bad Justin Bieber chorus, “As long as you love me,” was one I’m not particularly proud of acquiring. I blame it on the radio station my dear daughter picked on the
way to school one day. Another was Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass playing the Spanish Flea, (Think The Dating Game). That was a family earworm/earwig we all had for over a week.
The newest addition to the fold, “Best Friend,” by Harry Nilsson. This song was in the opening sequence of, “The Courtship of Eddie’s Father.” It’s also been used in a Doug the Pug short about a dog and his lookalike/imaginary balloon friend. Yeah, thanks Internet. Now I have a pug named Doug trolling me.
In August and through September my scale tips easily into a funk. Although I’ve not been officially diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder(SAD), let’s just say I fit the profile in my own weird way. During this time, earworms are my initial unconscious and anxious reminder depression is starting, a ringing in my ears of a different kind. I know what is coming. The black dog. I fight it using tools such as redirected thinking from negative to neutral or positive, by writing about it, making sure I don’t cheat on sleep, letting out feelings and talking about them with my dear hubby and taking my meds even though they feel like they’re not working. In the end, unfortunately, it all seems like a bunch of bullshit. No medication or girding myself for combat helps. So the best I can do is to work NOT to scrape bottom. Depression rock bottom is a very dangerous place for me. No choice but to wait the fucker out. And some days, its just seems like too much.
I read an article where the recommendation was to chew gum to get rid of an earworm. Gum distracts the brain from the musical menagerie, thereby squelching the song snippet. Okaaay. I tried gum, lots of gum, whole packages to no avail. My earworm isn’t just a simple looped toon, it is a foretelling. Sorry to report, Trident, Orbit or Extra peppermint rarely solve problems other than bad breath.