the life of zooey who happens to be Bipolar 2
Why, you say? Well, it seems my ex got the ‘brilliant’ idea that asking my dear hubby and I out for dinner when we dropped off our daughter for his bi-weekend visit…together…in the SAME place at the SAME table.
I was astonished. Very little conversation has passed between my ex and I since the divorce. Very little that didn’t have to do with dear daughter’s parenting challenges and needs. So when the ex decided it invite us, it took a few days to respond. I thought it best to talk to dear daughter. I asked her twice to make sure, and surprisingly, she actually didn’t care if we had dinner all together. With that from here, even though hubby and I weren’t keen on the idea, we said, yes, hesitantly.
Dear daughter was even puzzled at this invitation. She ticked off possible reasons on her fingers on they way to meet him: 1. to be nice 2. to tell us he was dating or getting married (nope, daughter would know) 3. to say he was moving states with his job (nope, he travels, it’s a new job and the home office is in town) .
The day finally came and we met in the parking lot of a Chipotle. I figured this was a good place since it did not have the awkward ‘who pays for the check’ thing. I must take a small step back and note that dear hubby and I manage money carefully. We were able to pay for a wedding in about 4 months with cash saved in that 4 months. It was tight, but we did and continue to live within our means. My ex, on the other hand, has not been a great manager of money all his life. He does not support dear daughter in many ways at all. He complains that he has no money to her and me. He is also filing for bankruptcy as he takes dear daughter to movies and out to dinner all weekend. Yeah. Makes sense..right?? 😛
I figured this was his time with dear daughter and if he chose to eat with us, then we would pay ours and he, theirs. This worked out fine.
But the sitting and talking was the hardest part for all of us.
After giving the ex the look that could kill in the parking lot, he said only a few words here and there and was pleasant..keeping it as civil as he could. My adorable hubby is very protective of my moods and sanity and knows how closely a lot of my suffering was in the past ex relationship. Hubby didn’t talk hardly at all, just ate and nodded. 😉
Thanks to my father, I’ve learned the art of chit-chat. Weather, basic daughter school stuff, his job, what they were doing this weekend. What we are doing for dear daughter’s birthday. I kept up the patter as best as I could. I ate a little, but eating was not sitting well with me, so I gave dear hubby more to eat as well as something to do and he finished out my bowl. Dear daughter was stressed. I could tell by the lack of conversation from her as well as how fast she was eating.
Thankfully, the whole dinner from hell was done in about 30 minutes. We said our goodbyes and parted ways. Dear hubby and I did a bit of retail therapy buying MTG cards and decompressed for a few hours.
How long does it take me to eat a burrito bowl? Ten minutes of nibbling and then 10 for hubby to finish it and 30 total minutes of hellish conversation.
I hope my next trip to burritoland is a lot more fun.