the art of mindbending

the life of zooey who happens to be Bipolar 2

of spiderwebs and fog

This weekend was a big one for the household. We had a new bed delivered, gave our old queen bed to our daughter and put her single in the spare bedroom.  This entailed lots of moving furniture, vacuuming and spot cleaning, reorganizing and redoing/shopping for sheets and the like.  I also insisted on playing Fall spider terminator after unknowingly/barely missing a huge spider and web when walking out into the garage to the car recently. It STILL gives me the heebee jeebees to think about how close my curly hair got to snagging that web. So after all the moving and the making of beds, the purge and store of unwanted ‘spare’ bedroom items Saturday, we sprayed inside and out.

After that exhausting day, we opted for the Papa Murphy’s $10 special (a one topping pizza, a side and 2 liter of pop)…screw the cooking! I’ve been drinking less pop the past few months, so it was a real treat to have pizza and pop for dinner.  Unfortunately, neither the hubby or I drank enough water that day, then consumed WAY too much Mountain Dew at 6PM.   I will say …it was refreshing and deeeeeelicious! Plus, I had even more energy to go on our date that night! All was good until I couldn’t get to sleep after waking at 2:30 AM that night.  Dumb, Zooey, dumb…we should have picked Sprite or root beer.

My therapist, Debra, is known for her work with those who can’t sleep.  As a BP2, I often, I have poor/irregular sleeping cycles that keep going on and on and can trigger mood swings primarily down into depression.  Debra and I originally targeted this weekend or next to workign on resetting my sleep pattern.  Opting to take the opportunity presented, I stayed up for the rest of the wee Sunday morning  hours and through the next day.

I have two professionals that work to balance my ‘delicate’ chemistry.  Along with my therapist, I also have a psychiatrist who works on medication.   They work with me and talk to each other if things are not going well, too.  He prescribes the meds for BP2 which for me is Lamotrigine.  He also has two meds I can use for anxiety and to sleep which are low doses of Risperadone (which replaced that next-day groggy Klonopin) and low doses of Xanax to stop the brain.  I took the full dose of both last night. And finally, after some time, I went out for the count.

But this morning  I am a cob web beaded with fog.

Perhaps folks might wish for a ‘sleeping pill’ to go asleep easier.   What I use works, but it is not the best functional morning after one could hope for in a cocktail.  I am here working-and-typing-and-doing-the-talking-of-the- meeting-things all at mental and physical level of  70%.   Numb mouth and leaded limbs and furiously concentrating to keep it a normal day at work.  Some would be okay with this Pink Floyd’s Comfortably Numb state. For the remainder of the day, I’ll fake it as best I can.  Here’s to hoping Monday passes quickly for this corporate turtle, and for you, too.


Spidery Morning


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on August 26, 2013 by in Health, Mood, Quality of Life and tagged , , , , , , .
%d bloggers like this: